We celebrated Julia's Communion on April 25, 2010. This was a beautiful day, even if the weather was not picture perfect, it could not take away from the splendor of the day. I gt to take Julia to Church just by myself, as the boys were driving separately. This allowed for us to arrive early o Church, and just relax, without feeling rushed. We actually got to spend a few moments prior to Mass talking with Aunt Rita, and Mom & Dad McCay. Fr. Tom did a wonderful job addressing the children, and the congregation. The Church looked beautiful, it was just a very relaxing, peaceful experience, as it should be.
The planning had consumed us(me) for weeks. You would think I had never done this before, but, I am a veteran of the process having gotten my son through Communion. But, as with many things in life, it is different when you are going through this with a daughter.
With Larry, I stressed nothing, and we just made the most of every moment. When he made his, I realized how the focus is on the girls. Boys seem to get overlooked in the process, not that my boy ever complained about that, infact, the less fuss the better in his eyes. I wanted to fuss a bit, and make him feel special. We went to a Men's Clothing store, and had a suit specifically altered for him. Not what I usually did, purchase off the rack, and the poor kid ends up with sleeves too short for his long arms, or just looking overall disheveled! To this day, he still talks about the little Italian man who was the Tailor, and how fun it was to go for each fitting. I then took him to Celebrity Kids for a photo shoot. He was given star treatment, the kids have there own dressing room, and nothing was rushed, very focused on the child. We have wonderful keepsake photos as a result. I knew I wanted them to do Julia's pics when her time came. Ofcourse, they are no longer in the area.
With girls, the focus is on the dress. It can become all consuming. My Mom and started eye-ing up dresses last year in anticipation of this year! As this CCD year began, my mother brought over my Communion dress that she had made for me. It was not the mini-bride dress the girls wear today, it was showing it's age as it was unevenly yellowed, and with not being pressed, it looked a bit lifeless. Jul took one look at it and proclaimed, "I love it!" Then when she found out my mother had made it, she said, "I thought it was special because it as yours, but the fact that Mom Mom made it, makes it that much better." WOW! she blew me away, a 7 y.o feeling that nostalgic, I was touched. We told her that other girls will be wearing the big, fluffy, white dresses, to which she replied,"I'm not like other girls!" AMEN to that Sister!!!!!
So began the "Journey of the Dress". Trying to breath life back into it, and have it ready to present on 'The Day' became an obsession. Mom washed it once, the color still remained uneven. My dear Aunt Eve askedif she could work on it. Of course! I would never turn her down. This is the woman who along with my mom, got my Christening dress in top form for Julia to wear on her Christening day, only fitting that she should be a part of this too.
Long story (somewhat) short, after a few months of re-washes, pressings, elastic replacements, re-beading, the dress was back in great form. Aunt Eve suggested to her that maybe she get a 'back-up" dress for the Church, and she could wear this at her party. Julia liked that idea. She picked out a very simple White dress, that after looking at(and hating)quit a few 'bride' dresses, this lil' dress was the last on the rack....her face just lit up, and she said, "that's the one!" Made me teary, visions of picking out her wedding dress....yikes! Back to reality!!!!!!
Part of this process, that was the most special to Julia, was spending the time with Aunt Eve. She really made it an amazing experience, really fussing over her. When we would go over, Aunt Eve's table was always set and ready for tea, complete with her famous Chocolate Chip cookies. Julia attended her first Tea Party at Aunt Eve's house, while only 3 months old, and she has been hooked on Tea Parties ever since! This special lady was a constant in my life growing up. I felt so secure, comforted, and above all else, truly, truly loved in her presence, no one ever hugged me the way she did, or still does. I see my kids look at her in that same light. As Julia put it, "Aunt Eve is a Super Hero!"
So we decided, the main reason to get this dress ready, was to have formal portraits taken in it, to have that little treasure preserved on film. So, like I said, the other photographer was defunct. I started searching for someone new. The Church had recommended a photographer in Haddon Hts., so I made the appointment. Now, this is where the "girl' thing starts to play out. HAIR!!!!! The hair must be done, this is not my strong point, so a hair appointment was made prior to the pics, then again for the day of the Communion. Jul is not crazy about havingto sit that long, and really not crazy about having her hair 'pulled'. There is a pic I caught of her, where it is abundantly obvious, she was not pleased :) So.....now off to the photo shoot. It was a little shop on the White Horse Pike, been there since 1967, and don't think much changed there i all those years. It was tiny, and oddly quiet, I really thought, this is not going to be the experience I had hoped or for her. She was already tired from full day of school, THEN hair didn't think she was much in the smiling mood.
But, as the photographer opened a back room door, and a little four-legged bundle of energy in a Jack Russell Terrier suit came bounding out to greet Juia, the most natural, peaceful smile came across my exhausted child's face....and it never left! The dog's name was Sally, and she was the unseen presence running circles around Julia, as the photographer was clicking away. I cannot believe she stays just out of the range of the picture, but a constant companion throughout. We were there for about 3 hours! If it were not for Ms. Sally, it could have beena whole different experience.
So, what I learned was, I didn't need to try to recreate the great experience my son had. They each have their special moments, memories they will treasure. They each got the experience that was intended just for them, and me. And....I really feel you get what you need, not what you want, and that God himself put Ms. Sally in Julia's path to allow her to enjoy the moment.
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